Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
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You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
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Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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