the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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