Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
