try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Even my vagina gasped.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
