he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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