Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize