i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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