I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
