he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
