She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
