Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
