Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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