Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
are you so shy because you have an std?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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