she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
