so that wasnt chicken after all
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
