Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
