he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
