I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
