you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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