It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
