When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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