He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just want to make out with him forever
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Randomize