I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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