He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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