:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I think my fart just growled at me.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
How external is "for external use only"?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
