im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
