you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
