Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
