I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
