we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
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