Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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