If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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