So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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