weddingsv make me drug and hornr
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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