You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
So gin and wine won't be happening again
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
