If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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