Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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