Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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