Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize