Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize