White coat. Heels.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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