no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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