your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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