if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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