So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize