nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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