is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
