Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
don't judge my taste in strippers
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Dicks are not precious.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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