I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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