So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
kristin has been a bad kristin
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Randomize
