I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
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