i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
