Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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