i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
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You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
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I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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