We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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