It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Randomize