Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Randomize
