im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
