Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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